Sherlock Holmes' Adventures through TV Land
by Tetsuhana
Summary: After watching Reichenbach Falls, I thought that Jim really reminded me of Steve from Blue's Clues when he was telling the story. And so, this story has been born. It should be a crossover, but every chapter will be a different crossover, so it would be impossible for me to categorize it correctly. Some slash, mostly hinted.
1. Episode 1: Sherly's Keys

A/N: I was so amused by Jim Moriarty's story time in Reichenbach Falls that this came into being.

* * *

"Hi boys and girls! Have you seen my kitten, Sherly? Oh! There he is! Come on in!"

Jim Moriarty picks up a comical black cartoon kitten version of Sherlock Holmes who looks very annoyed. He hisses and attempts to scratch at the playful host, who only snuggles him close.

"We are so excited that you are here today," Jim says, letting Sherly down to scamper away. Jim leans in close. "Today is an extra special day. Sherly's friend Johnny is coming to play. But sometimes when Sherly and Johnny are together they can be naughty. Can you help me make sure that Sherly and Johnny play nice? You can? Great!"

The doorbell rings and Jim jumps over to the door to open it. Another comical kitten comes into view. This one is yellow and quickly scampers over to the first. A mailbox suddenly springs into the room.

"Mail time!" it exclaims. Jim takes the letter out.

"Oh my goodness boys and girls! We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from!" Jim sings, opening the envelope, "It's a letter for you Sherly. What do you think it means?"

Written in big red letters on the piece of paper are the letters "I," "O," and "U." Jim is grinning from ear to ear, while the little black kitten slowly backs away.

"What do you think it means Sherly?" Jim asks, moving closer. Sherly moves forward and slashes at the screen, leaving three red claw marks.

"What a great idea! We'll play Sherly's Keys to figure out what the letter means!" Jim exclaims, "We are gonna play Sherly's Keys because it's really fun! Now remember boys and girls, Sherly's claw marks will be on the keys, Sherly's keys, and if you see Sherly and Johnny being bad, will you tell me? Great! Hey, you know what we need to play Sherly's Keys right? Our handy dandy… smartphone!"

Jim takes his phone out of his pocket and shows it to the screen. There is a text on the screen that says, "20,000 pounds, for the safe return of my family." Jim pulls it back.

"Oops… that's for something else," he says. He begins to hit digits into his smartphone. "Now, we want to figure out what Sherly's letter means, but in order to do that, we need to find the keys; Sherly's keys. Let's go!"

Jim walks through the cartoon house and into the kitchen. A set of red claw marks mark a big kitchen knife.

"What? You see a key? Where?" Jim asks, looking around, "Over there? There it is! You're great at looking!"

Jim takes a picture with his phone.

"Hmm… a kitchen knife. What do you think it means? You know what? I think we need to find more keys," Jim says. "Uh oh… Look at Sherly and Johnny. They've gone and set up a trap to trick me. That's not very nice, is it boys and girls? You know what we have to do when Sherly and Johnny aren't nice? It's time for a time out."

Jim steps around the trap and grabs Sherly and Johnny by the scruffs of their necks. Very quietly he says, "I owe you… no matter where you are, I'll burn you." Johnny bites his hand and the screen goes black.


	2. Episode 2: Sherlock the Doofus

This could be the room of any small boy, but it happens to belong to a boy names Jim Moriarty. Like most young boys, Jim had many stuffed animal friends to play with, and they had many frightening encounters, but his very favorite toy of all, was a bear name Sherlock the Doofus.

Deep in St. Bart's Hospital, where Moriarty liked to play, you'd find an enchanting neighborhood from little Jim's childhood days…

Now, Sherlock the Doofus was sitting in his thoughtful spot, trying to think.

"Think… Think… Think…" Sherlock rubbed his temples, looking up to the sky, "GAH! Anderabbit! Stop looking at me, your face is throwing me off!"

"My face is throwing you off?!" The long-eared rabbit doll exclaimed.

"Just do as he says," Lestrade the Owl said in annoyance. The rabbit huffed and hopped away. Kanga Molly hopped over, uncovering the dead body in front of them.

Johnlet stood nearby, peering at the body.

"Oh d-d-dear…" he said, looking at all the blood, but he composed himself and looked it over, "I would say that this donkey died over six hours ago, bludgeoned with a hammer."

"Precisely Johnlet," Sherlock said, "But why? Is there a murderer among us? Or, could this sod be another victim of our insane little boy, Jim Moriarty."

"Doofus! Where are you?" the voice of Jim Moriarty echoed through the halls of St. Bart's Hospital, "Come out and play with me…"

There was an immediate stirring as the other animals scrambled to find a hiding place.

"Johnlet, go," Sherlock said as he tied his scarf around his neck.

"I'm n-not leaving you alone," John said, tugging at his striped sweater.

"He'll kill you like he did the ass over there," Sherlock said, "Go hide, I'll be back shortly…"

So, Sherlock the Doofus left the safety of his thoughtful spot and wandered out into the dark halls of St. Bart's Hospital.

"Doofus… where are you hiding?" Jim Moriarty asked. His voice bounced off the many walls.

"I'm not hiding," Sherlock said, his eyes looking everywhere for the insane little boy.

"How noble, you came out into the halls of St. Bart's to protect your friends," Jim said, still unseen by Sherlock, "Come play a game with me Doofus."

"What kind of game shall we play Jim?" Sherlock was looking all around, growing increasingly nervous.

"I was thinking a round of Russian Roulette," Jim said. A gun slid across the tile floor of the hall and Jim Moriarty stepped into view.

"How about a game of chess?" Sherlock asked, taking a pocket board out of his coat.

"Chess? Chess is so boring…" Jim pouted, "You're my favorite toy Doofus, amuse me."

"We'll make it interesting," Sherlock said, "Surely a strategic game is preferable to a game of chance…"

"Go on…" Jim was nodding in approval.

"Each piece taken is secret information revealed," Sherlock said.

"Ah… Sherlock the Doofus, you have so few secrets that you could possibly be hiding from me," Jim Moriarty said, "It's not interesting enough, try again."

"Winner takes all," Sherlock said, "If I win you leave my friends and me alone."

"And if I win?" Jim Moriarty asked, a smirk on his wicked face.

"I'll never hide from you again, whatever you want…" Sherlock said, his eyes on the floor.

"Set it up. You can even make the first move," Jim said with a grin. They sat down on the floor and Sherlock the Doofus set the pieces on the chess board. They were just about to begin when Johnlet ran out.

"No!" he yelled, kicking the chess board across the hall. The screen went black.


	3. Episode 3: Crappy Doo

"Boy, that sure was some fishing trip," Mycroft said, "Like I don't think I've ever eaten so much fish in my life, how about you?"

John looked at himself in the mirror.

"You do know we didn't actually catch any fish, idiot." Sherlock said. He was in an awkward orange sweater, while John was dressed in purple. Lestrade chuckled, fixing the ascot around his neck.

"Alright, gang, that's enough," he said.

"Ro my gosh!" Crappy Doo said, "Rere's a person out there!"

"NO! No! Anderson, do not speak the rest of this episode!" Sherlock said to the dog, which scowled angrily, 'Stop the car Lestrade."

"But I…"

"Stop the car." The orange clad detective stepped out with his purple clad-companion following.

"Oh my, what a shock, it's a creepy old man," Sherlock said, "Might as well pull off the mask right now. You aren't fooling me."

"Clever ," Jim took the fake face off, "But can you solve the Mystery before the time runs out?"

Johnny was distracted and wondered off. He let out a yell when he was taken hostage by Moriarty's minions.

"Oh brilliant…" Sherlock muttered, "John, why must you always get yourself captured?"

"He makes it so easy too," Jim said with a playful pout, "It's the brave soldier in him, always wandering off alone. He makes an adorable damsel in distress."

Lestrade joined them.

"Moriarty?" he said in disbelief.

"Yes, of course it's Moriarty you twit!" Sherlock shouted. Crappy Doo opened his mouth but Jim shot him before he could speak.

"Thank you!" Sherlock said.

"Can you solve my Mystery Sherlock?" Jim asked, "You don't have much time, and you still have to find the time to save your damsel in distress."

"Nothing could be simpler once I take you into custody," Sherlock said, but when he turned to face Jim, he was gone.

"Jinkies! Lestrade, why weren't you paying attention?!" Sherlock shouted at him.

"Well, I was… until your brother bumped into me with his mile long sandwich," Lestrade said.

"Mycroft! You can eat comically later!" Sherlock said, "The game is on!"

"Sherlock! We're supposed to come up with a clever plan," Lestrade said.

"Yes, and the main character is supposed to be a loveable talking dog. Look where that's gotten us! I am a man of action!" Sherlock said and ran off.

John was tied up in an old run-down barn. Jim was playfully running his fingers over John's face.

"What sort of villain should I be Johnny?" he asked, "Should I conjure a ghostly visage? Or just a frightening mortal man? It's not every day I get to play with the so called 'Mystery Incorporated.'"

"You're not going to get away with this," John said, "Sherlock's way too brilliant to fall for this."

"You think so?" Jim asked, "When Johnny's involved, his reasoning drops a bit."

"What are you implying?" John asked, his face turning red.

"I think you know exactly what I'm implying," Jim whispered.

Sherlock was extremely frustrated that he was unable to locate a gun.

"Four teenagers and a dog run around solving mysteries involving dangerous criminals and none of them carry a gun?" he shouted, "What is this world coming to?"

Maybe it was time for clever planning. Bursting in without a firearm, while he knew Moriarty had one would not end well. And what was the Mystery that Jim spoke of? Nothing seemed missing, nothing was…

Sherlock looked into the distance. A peculiar expression crossed his features. He held his hand out in front of him and walked forward until his hand was pressed against an invisible wall. Memories began to rush into his mind. This wasn't his life… Of course it wasn't! And yesterday hadn't been his life… and neither had the day before… The memories that had been in his head were falsely projected. He was in some kind of program… He peered into the invisible wall and saw a smug Jim Moriarty with a television remote. The color drained a bit from his face. If Moriarty was in charge… What was happening to John.

"John?!" he shouted, and ran deeper into the program, looking for his friend.

"Times up, Sherlock," Jim's voice mocked him.

"No!" Sherlock yelled angrily.

The screen went black


End file.
